This is Sparta

So yesterday was a bad food day. I didn't sleep well Thursday night and I got up and ate not one, not two, but 4 cupcakes.  Woke up on Friday and felt queesy so cue not eating til lava lamp and I went out to eat at 3. It was an extravaganza of pasta, bread and calamari.   On to the movie theater, which brought sprite and hot buttered popcorn with m&ms mixed in. ( You really must try that).  We came home and had cake.  

Sigh

Today I have been on point. I ate my 4 small meals and no sweets.  How ever it was so busy I only drank a out 50 oz of water.  One day does not mean I'm done for. One day is not complete failure. 

On the bright side, yesterday I woke up to this 

We saw mortal instruments. Not all that good.  I read the book and I was interested in seeing how it translated.  The answer was: meh. I suggest you wait for video

Lava lamp decided to text all his friends and have them wish me happy birthday. I had 40 texts.  I was wondering how every man in my life knew it was my birthday.  It wasn't until I got home that he let me in on the secret. 

Today, in the ICU bathroom I found this.  I giggled. 

Ten things Thursday-- birthday edition

1) last night's birthday dinner with a friend went well.  310 calories of onion soup and lemon orzo soup. 64 oz of unsweetened herbal tea. You know your friends are awesome when they don't bat an eyelash when you order 2 cup of soups.  

2) birthday lunch with my parents was fabulous.  Rainbow trout with green beans and mustard greens.  

3) they gave me a kitchen aid mixer. Woohoo. I love it and all its steel chromed loveliness. It's my precious 

4) and I made orange cupcakes with it. It mixed that batter smooth and silky.  Tonight's "choir practice" (euphemism for when a group of us get together and drink coffee) will be a birthday edition and I baked. I love to cook, but in my current state I need someone to push the food on.  There will be better than sex brownies.  

5) lava lamp and I planned pasta dinner is a no go. I don't want to screw up progress right now. I'd rather him buy me the stuff to make turkey meatballs with sauce :/)

6) I won't get my birthday present from him til Friday.  I can't wait to see what he bought me.  He always comes up with the best presents!!!

7) then Saturday I will be 31.  

8) I love getting older.  I'm secure in my career. I'm a home owner. And I don't much care about what other people think.  I have true friends that love me and an awesome relationship with lava lamp.I don't miss the finding myself portion of my 20's at all.  

9) project birthday cake is going nicely. We ended up getting a sampler from cold stone and I've been eating a piece a night.  So far so good.  But I will be relieved when it leaves my house. 

10) bob Harper was a no go yesterday.  Bob hurt my back. So I did wii Zumba. According to the program, I burned 386 calories and 0 style points and 0% technique.  Clearly I will be working on shaking my booty.  I need practice!!!!

WIW

Week 1

Starting weight: 278

Goal weight: 115

Today's weight: 264.6

Pounds lost: 13.4

Woohoo!!!!

That makes giving up soda so worth it.  It also makes me hungry to look at;-). I love first week weight loss.  I feel a lot better already and I'm sleeping better.  Yesterday, I had my one slice of cake and added it into my daily calories.  Stuck with tea at my birthday meet up last night.  I did not even glance at the lovely coffee concoctions.  

Woohoo. 

By the way, I have fallen off the water band wagon.  I am drinking 100 oz of unsweetened ice tea.  I've been alternating between earl grey, Irish breakfast, and English breakfast. I justify it by saying at least it's not artificially sweetened or sugary.  Tea has anti oxidants right?  I need to fill up my water bottle and leave it in my purse.  May try that today.  

Now off to see bob Harper for torture. 

I hate bob Harper

I just completed the biggest loser cardio max level one workout.  That sucked. The entire time my knees are hurting and I'm sweating and panting like a 2 pack a day smoker (which I use to be) I chanted in my head "115". 

The goal weight.  

I can do this.  

I believe I will take my cue from lapbandgal, regarding not counting exercise into my daily caloric goals.  That becomes a bit of a minefield for me.  7 years ago I got down to 150 pounds by making sure my in column matched my out column.  The obsessiveness that came with that was miserable and maddening.  I also do not want to fall into the trap that, by working out, I deserve more calories.   

I hopped on the scale today. It was a good number. I know it doesn't count because its not Wednesday, but the numbers are heading in the right direction.  Today I need to run errands. Go grocery shopping.  Get gas. Meet a friend for coffee.

It seems that I have been able to change all my big birthday dinners into smaller, more manageable feats. Like coffee (ill have the desert lime tea, thank you).  And places where I can get something light. I warned my co workers on Saturday to please not order me lunch. And that I will bring the cake. 

This year I am bringing the cake to all my functions.  There will only be one cake that should last 5 days and that my coworker Mona will take home on Saturday.  That way I can control how much leftovers are in the house and way to get rid of them.  I Also plan to post here more often this week to keep myself accountable.  

My other goal this week is to hang out with bob every morning til I go back to work on Saturday.  Maybe I will learn to love him. 

Oh that's just mean

I have been on a 1200 calorie diet with no sugar, processed food, or soda (regular or diet).  And that detox sucked.  Lethargic.  Headaches. Irritable 

I feel better now. 

My birthday is next Friday.  I have been fantasizing about a birthday dinner. Cake from cold stone. Pasta from mirikos. Friends want to go out.   Celebrate. I was so down.  

Was being the operative world. 

Today I had a coworker from another department reach out and pinch my fat roll and call me chunky.  She pointed out how much weight I've gain.  

Yeah. 

Well so much for the plan to go off the reservation.   It looks like  I will keep on my lovely diet.  

>sigh<

Weigh in Wednesday

Week 0

Starting weight: 278

Goal weight: 115

Today's weight: 278

Pounds lost: 0

And I never have to weigh that much again.  If I can lose 2 pounds a week, by next year I will weigh 174.  If I lose 2 pounds a week, have lap band done 7 months from now, by my one year bandverisery I will be at goal.  Just 2 pounds a week.   It's only 2 pounds a week.  >chants in her head<

Deep breath

Lapbandgal commented on my blog.  It's like being visited by my lap band fairy god mother.  

Last night, I are the last meal.  Appetizers. Mini burger, mini tacos, rolls, buffalo chicken nuggets...  Mmm so good.  And then ice cream.  With hot fudge and Carmel. 

I had dental work done today and I have a few more hours before I can eat.  So in the mean time let's see what the last meal looks like

Countdown

I had my first appointment today.  My 6 months starts now. 

Lava lamp and I woke up at 5 am in order to get ready and get to the appointment an hour away.  We actually left the house on time, which never happens.  Very fortuitous, since there were some roads closed that we didn't know about.  

I met with the dietician and she gave me a rough eating plan and went over portion control.  Which is adorable.  I told her that I'm gluten intolerant and that I rice gives me heart burn (wierd I know).  I asked what to do about the 4-5 ounces of grains, since I won't eat them.  She said eat potatoes and corn.  Which was shocking to me, because that's the first time that anyone has ever encouraged me to eat those foods and I really don't eat those either. French fries are fried so I don't get those.  I guess I am destined to under preform in the grains category.  

The dietician was also the one that did my initial height and weight.  Let me tell you about that.  If I could put my heels together and place my butt and skull on the same wall I would not be at a weight loss surgery appointment, thank you very much.   She got my initial weight at 275.9.  I have to be down to 262.1 before they will schedule surgery. Can do little buddy. 

She did give me a pretty new food journal. So there's that.

The exercise lady was super fun.  I want us to be BFF's and do each others hair.  She's spunky and I want to take her home.  She clocked my body fat mass at 55% I think.  I then told her there's a good chance my foot is broken.  She preceded to tell me to get my x rays done and to check back later. She also took measurements.  She was a beast at it.  There's no way I could remember that many numbers.   

Next came the bariatrician.  In this practice, he takes over the role as my medical doctor and I see him every month prior to surgery.  I won't meet the surgeon til closer to time.  He was a fantastic guy and we talked about my history and the various surgeries they offer.  I know that lap band has the higher complication rate, but I still have some concerns about the gastric bypass.  There does not seem to be any research regarding if people who have gastric bypass young subsequently develop diabetes.   I know it will correct it, but can it prevent it?   I do have 6 months before I even have to make that decision.  After the 6 months, approval from surgery then takes another month or two.  I almost want to aim for the beginning of next summer.   Hopefully with a little hard work and some divine intervention I'll go through like a champ

They also gave me a binder.  I'm going to trick my binder out. :-). 

 I'm off to the grocery for yogurt, veggies, and the last meal.  Woohoo

Here's to the last of the sweet tea. 

Can't wait!

I have had to work all weekend. I work for a medical system in podunk, kentucky. One of the awesome things about working here is that I have access to 3,000 fellow co workers and their opinions. I tap that resource any time I have to find a new roofer or car repair place. Especially helpful because I did not grow up here and everyone knows each other. I've been asking around about people's weight loss experience. I've heard that with gastric bypass that several of the ladies will eat what ever they want knowing they will "dump" and do it anyways. They have not lost the weight. That hits home for me because I know I would do the same thing. With my 30 year battle with my weight, I believe that i qualify as a food addict. I eat to the point of being uncomfortable. I eat knowing it's bad for me. I eat no matter what. It's also scary the lack of after care. I'm really excited about the 6 month supervised weight loss plan. I want some one to hold my hand, give me direction, and be there before and after surgery. I talked with a fellow that works here about his lap band experience. He was told that as long as he "followed the rules" he would lose the weight. And he lost 150 pounds. WOW! he looks awesome and can tell that he has so much more energy. He says that he uses the lap band to keep him in check. Im so excited for my appointment on Tuesday. I'm eager to get started on this journey. Im excited!

TTT- why I want to lose the weight

TTT (ten things Thursday) weight loss edition 

1.  Because I have never lost all the weight before.  I'm an expert yo yo dieter. I lose 20, gain 30.  Lose 50, gain 70 ad nauseum.

3.  To try the undiscovered territory of maintenance.  I've never reached a goal. This looks like a wonderful new challenge. 

4. My heart.  I have a congenital heart defect.  The extra weight I'm carrying cAuses my already over worked heart to work harder.  At the ripe old age of 30, my heart is enlarging.  

5.  Mobility issues.  My best hurt. My knees hurt.  My shoulders hurt.  And I can't get around very well. My hustle is a slow shuffle. 

6. I have a family history of diabetes and Coronary heart disease.   My aunt died in her 50's after 2 open heart surgeries and a battle with diabetes.  No bueno. 

7.  To have a closet of clothes that always fits.  Not having to separate my closet by sizes or the weight I have to be to wear it.  

8. Too easily fit in and get in and out of the bath tub.  I no longer want to feel like a beached whale.  

9.  Too be able to run, do insanity, and Jillian michals with out hurting myself because I'm so big.  

10.  Too not feel sick and tired ALL THE TIME.  To feel rested in the morning and to sleep well at night.  To do things because "I got tired of sitting".  

Weigh in Wednesday

271.8 lbs

I bought a new scale today.  My old scale, depending on how you stood on it,  gave several different answers.  Seriously, if the moon was in Taurus you gained 5 pounds.  I bought a cute digital one that gives one reading. You don't have to watch it think about it or second guess its self.  It's also super light so when I'm done weighing it goes back in the closet.  I'm trying to only weigh on Wednesdays. I don't like when I obsessively   do that.  I don't like when my entire day is good or bad based on that number.  That my self worth has a numerical value.  

Speaking of which, Amy W and Lap band gal mention on their blogs that they wished they had before measurements. I took a lot.  Hey, maybe too much is better than too little.  

Neck: 15.5 in

Bicep left: 15.5 in

Bicep right: 15.5 in

Nipple line: 49 in

Chest: 44.5 in

1 in above belly button: 46.5 in

2 in below belly button: 50.5 in

Hips: 52 in

Thigh 6 in from knee, left: 28.5 in

Thigh 6 in from knee, right: 27.5 in

Calf, biggest point, right: 22.5 in

Calf, biggest point, left: 22 in

Ankle, left: 11.5 in

Ankle, right: 11.3 in

(Who knew you could put a number on cankles?)

And pictures

Woohoo

I realized that I forgot to do a back shot.  One day I'm going to have to prove those back rolls existed.  

Shield your eyes!!

Run for the hills!!!

Snotty musings

So on the continual stalking of blogs I have decided to set the goal weight at a bmi of 19.1 or 115 lbs. or the number we don't stop until we see.  I want a hell of a lot of wiggle room when I finally get to maintenance.  Because let me tell you I kick some butt at losing weight.  And when I get near a goal I slow down and back slide.  So how about 115?  I haven't weighed that since my age has been double digits. 

Stay tuned till tomorrow.  Wednesday weigh in and measurements. Woohoo

And no there was no walk today or water. Too bush swallowing snot. 

This is how Buddha, my presa carnario felt about it

Down with the sickness

So when are you too sick to exercise?  My cold has moved down into my chest.  I'm getting out of breath simply from moving from the couch to the bathroom. It's a no go on walking today.  Though I wonder what other people do?  What's their barometer of no working out?  It's almost comical that I consider walking working out.  And sad that I'm that out of shape.  

I've been going through and reading some blogs start to finish. It seems in 2009 there was a group of hardcore girls who all got banded and then shared their experience via blogger.  Two things I have taken from this:

A.  Blogging helps. It gives a recorded accountability to the journey. It's much harder to lie in black and white.  It's also much harder to stay in denial and not get back into the solution

B. My doctor's appointment is 8 days away.  I am going to show up with the attitude of being the poster child for the practice. I will do everything they tell me to do.  I want to be on commercials.  Seriously.  Because, at the ripe old age of 30, I clearly can't lose weight by myself. I've proven that.  I know everything about losing weight.  Atkins, south beach, medifast, Jillian michaels, bob Harper, calories in, calories out etc and I still weigh 272 lbs.  I have been beaten into a state of reasonableness. I am ready to take directions. 

Sigh

Sister doesn't want to walk either.

Some of those blogs I haven reading are:

http://lapbandgalsjourney.blogspot.com/

http://cheeseandsunkist.blogspot.com/

Lovely reading!  

Snotty McSnotty Pants

My cold is full blown

I am a snot factory complete with razor blade throat syndrome.  

I did not take a walk today

I have oh drank about 30 oz of water today. 

But I did take my vitamin

Oh well. Better luck tomorrow. 

Because sharing is caring

Lava lamp gave me his cold.

Bastard.

I woke up at 5 and walked with izzy for 30 minutes before work.

This is the final 25 oz of the 100 oz a day.

I need a nap 

It's a miracle.

I've drank 75 oz of water today so far.  

The miracle is that I got up an hour early and went for my walk.  Here's today's walking buddy. Sister Ignatia Clover, the pittbull mix.  

The numbers

Currently at 272 my bmi is 45.3. (I'm 5'5"). A healthy bmi will occur somewhere between 110 and 145.  And there we have our goal weight.  It may be 150 pounds but I do have the rest of my life to lose it. 

By the way my significant other, lava lamp, got me sick.  Here's a picture of Typhoid Mary himself. 

Don't go chasing waterfalls...

After the shock that was Wednesday's weigh in. I'm going to try and add some things to my daily routine.  My first appointment with the nutritionist is on 8-20 and I'm sure she or he will tell me all sorts of things to subtract.  For the next twelve days I'm going to focus on adding a multivitamin, a calcium and vitamin d supplement, a 30 minute walk, and 100 oz of water a day.  I've currently drank 75 oz of said water and I feel like I will float away.   A lovely side effect of being engorged on water is that I don't want to eat anything just yet.  Woo hoo.  And I'm peeing in waterfalls. 

Tomorrow I go back into work for 3 days worth of 12 hour shifts. 

That will be the true test.  

I found a blogger app for my phone.  This should make it super easy to blog daily about my progress.  

So here's your daily walk picture. This is Shakes.  My yorkie mix. I'm so proud of her.  I only had to carry her a third of the way. And because of that she's fired from the walking circuit... Until she has a cute new outfit that needs to be shown off.

I wipe my brow and sweat my rust

So I went for a 30 minute walk with one of my dogs.  (Yes, I have 4).  That's some scale motivation.  I huffed and puffed.  Wow, I'm out of shape.  And so is Izzy.  Here's the proof.

This is it: an apocalypse

So I bravely stepped on the scale. 

272 lbs

Holy cheese and crackers Batman

How about I start on that walking thing today. And I took some before pictures.  You have been warned.  

The waiting room

I have 15 more days until the first appointment and a qualifying weight.

My insurance requires a 6 month waiting period in between initial weight and surgery. Two weeks before surgery a letter is sent to the insurance company and they say Yay or Nay. And all that will be based on my first weight. I must have a BMI of 40 or more. And right now I qualify. Oh do i qualify. Scared to step on the scale qualify.

I want that first weight over and done with so I can begin this journey. I can begin the nutritional counseling. I can begin making exercise a daily fact of life. I can begin drinking 100 oz of water a day. (Yes, i have stalked your blogs and I am learning). Because I will use that 6 months to my advantage. I will hit the ground running (waddling?).

I'm just tired of waiting.
And tired of being sick and tired.