NSV

So once a week I eat more than 1200 calories.  Lava lamp and I got Mexican. I got a chimichanga meal and...

Wait for it...

I didn't eat it all.  

That never happens. 

And then we got ice cream. And right now it's chillin in the fridge.  Because I'm to full eat. 

Wow.

Hopefully this will continue.  

I'm hungry.

One lovely thing about where I work is that people have started commenting on the fact that I've lost weight.  I've only lost 12% of my excess body weight. I can see my double chin going down.   

The down side is that I'm really hungry most of the time.  I hope that weight loss surgery will take care of that.  

Today I need to Zumba and cook.  Right now this is all I want to do. 

Yes, I sleep with a T Rex named Tibirius. Don't judge me. 

Wiw week 5. Tragedy avoided

Week 5

Starting weight: 278

Goal weight: 115

Last week's weight: 259.7

Today's weight: 258.2

Pounds lost: -1.5

Total pounds lost: 19.8

Thank goodness I pulled out a win for this week.  

This week I will eat 1200 calories most days and below 2000 once.  I will Zumba for an hour 4 times a week.  I will keep on keeping on :-)

Ten things Thursday and yes I worked a head

1) I am discouraged.  I have lost 20 pounds and still have 143 to go.  I know the last 50 will really suck.  I need to get my head out of my rear and keep doing this one day at a time.  

2) I'm following a modified paleo diet.  Modified because I eat yogurt.  I'm eating the yogurt because of probiotics and that it is so high in protien (90 calories 16 grams of protien).  I have this day dream that I can eat whatever I want.  The truth is I have a lot more energy and less pain when I eat clean, bordering on paleo.  

3) I'm trying to use up all my raw meal replacement.  I like the ingredients label. The effect it has on weight loss, but the consistency of it means u have to chug it. Which won't be an option after surgery.  It costs about 50 dollars a can, so I'm not wasting it. 

3) Zumba.  I feel like an idiot doing it. Seriously, you can set up a web cam in my living room called "white girls can't dance"

4) I have the Nike wrap shoes that cover everything but the toes.  Wonderful for Zumba.  Aside from the toe wedgie you get. 

5.  I will spend this weekend cooking.  And closing out our pool.  I can't wait for pool season next year

6. I have been craving pizza so this weekend I will make a pepperoni baked spaghetti... Squash.  Hopefully it will satisfy my cheesey craving. 

7.  I'm at work. Wouldn't it be nice if I could be independently wealthy. 

8. I wanna go to utah's red rock resort.  Need to save up some money :-) 

9.  I'm hungry all the time. I could eat a whole pizza right now. By myself. 

10.  I can't wait till I'm at my goal weight. I'm hoping within 2 years I can be in the land of maintance. 

Zumba my butt off

 Yesterday, after blogging about not wanting to Zumba, I zumba'd.  Today I zumba'd for an hour.  It was intense. I got the side stitch that I get when I run.  Zumba seems to be what I need right now. It's easy on my joints and burns massive calories. I can't wait until I'm lighter and my joints won't hate me for running or doing Jillian michales 30 day shred.  Zumba is my gate way drug.  

I confess I have been weighing every day. With my gluten intolerance I pile on weight when I eat bread. After the pizza on Friday I piled on 8 pounds.  Today, only 5 of that is missing. It makes me feel like a failure.  That I can try so hard to stay under calories for most days and one day ruins it.  

Oh well

What we have learned boys and girls is that if I feel the need to eat pizza than I either need to buy it by the slice or get a delite pizza from papa Murphy's.   

yesterday I made food for the week.  I need to go and pack my lunch for work tomorrow. Have a good day. 

Happy birthday lava lamp!!!

Lava lamp turned 30 yesterday.  We celebrated with laying on the couch and watching the second season of once upon a time.  We ate japanese (no rice thank you) and ice cream. It was pumpkin with yellow cake and fudge. And I completed the day at 1213 calories. Today we have cooking and cleaning to do. I'm going to make some more egg muffins and roasted vegetables.  I need to get the motivation up to work out.  Between the biopsies, Percocet, pizza, and sugar, I have a hangover.  I'm feeling very blah.

Oh well

I pick my self up

I brush myself off

I start all over again. 

Please kill me

Yesterday was pot luck day at work. There were green beans and corn and cabbage. Which led to fried chicken and cup cakes.  I wrote everything down and it came to 2283 calories.  The wroting things down kept me from eating until it hurt. 

Today I went have uterine biopsies taken. Holy mother of God batman.  There was screaming, blood, and tears. Now I'm at home on Percocet. And I ate pizza. And sweet tea.  Did it make me feel better? No. Now I'm trying not to go eat more pizza.  Tomorrow is not done though.  I can always try again.  Back to the couch...

2nd appointment in the bag

Week 4

Starting weight: 278

Goal weight: 115

Last week's weight: 267.2

Today's weight: 259.7

Pounds lost: -7.5

Total pounds lost: 18.3

I'm sitting at the Drs office waiting for my second appointment with the weight loss clinic.  It's interesting to watch the clientele of this place.  I keep looking at the other patients and think, "am I that fat."  Well, I may be fat but at least I didn't show up in swear pants.  Hmrph.  

I'm not an incredibly girly girl, but I make it a point to put on some nice clothes and wear make up hear.   I guess I don't want to be that stereotypical fat, sloppy person. 

While I'm here, I'll see the doc, excercise specialist, attend a nutrition class, and do a support group meeting.  And then drive an hour home.  Did I mention I forgot my protien bar.  Dang it. And I'm already hungry.  :-(.  

Photographic evidence. 

So I was told I needed new pants.  Mine are too big. :-) well that's lovely. 

I lost an inch and a half from waist and chest.

The bariatric specialist said everything looked good

The dietician asked if I had been eating at all.  

The exercise specialist said to keep up the good work.  And she likes my shoes.  She wants to be my friend.  I know she does.

Support group was great.  Except for this  one old lady who wanted to talk about herself the whole time.  The lovely program manager answered a lot of questions regarding who does the fills ( the surgeon for the first 90 days and then  the bariatrician).  

So far so good.  

It's amazing how much better I feel when I'm not eating processed crap and when I'm not eating gluten.  Today will be function of staying strong and keeping on keeping on.  

Week 4

Starting weight: 278

Goal weight: 115

Last week's weight: 267.2

Today's weight: 259.7

Pounds lost: -7.5

Total pounds lost: 18.3

I'm sitting at the Drs office waiting for my second appointment with the weight loss clinic.  It's interesting to watch the clientele of this place.  I keep looking at the other patients and think, "am I that fat."  Well, I may be fat but at least I didn't show up in swear pants.  Hmrph.  

I'm not an incredibly girly girl, but I make it a point to put on some nice clothes and wear make up hear.   I guess I don't want to be that stereotypical fat, sloppy person. 

While I'm here, I'll see the doc, excercise specialist, attend a nutrition class, and do a support group meeting.  And then drive an hour home.  Did I mention I forgot my protien bar.  Dang it. And I'm already hungry.  :-(.  

Photographic evidence. 

I'm dreaming of a new body.

It only took me 6 hours to get up the motivation to Zumba.  But I did it.  So the chicken salad was delicious.  You take 3.5 oz of chicken breast, 1/2 cup sliced grapes, 1/2 cup apples, and 1/4 cup plain Greek yogurt. A half cup was too much.  Yummy.  I'm also thinking of going gluten free this week.  Much like my goal weight, lets just see if I can.  

My goal weight is 115. I was reading some magazines this weekend and wondered what I would look like at that weight. So weird. What would I do if my thighs didn't touch?  I how ever would embrace being a 32 A or just having an A cup.  Boobs so get in the way.  I am a huge fan of plastic surgery.  My body is the only thing I'm taking to the grave with me.  Why do you think I'm considering lap band/ Bypass surgery?  I have never understood how some people can be pro WLS surgery and think plastic is horrible.

Neither surgeries will save your marriage, find true love or get you a job promotion.  Both surgeries can improve your confidence, your quality of life and make shopping easier.  

Hell, as soon as I get a few hundred I can throw away I'm getting Botox again.  Not because of the cosmetic effect because it helps with my tension headaches. 

If you are one of those people who are anti plastic and some one wants to buy you new boobs, please email me and give me the money.   I'll take it.  This fraken-Barbie has no shame. 

You can donate to my Botox fund here

Sweatin on Sunday

Yesterday, I consumed 2,400 calories.  And I was blessedly full. 800 of that was dove chocolate with caramel.  Yum. So I don't feel to bad about the calories. I counted out and wrote down everything that went in my mouth. Normally, when I binge I say f$&@ it and don't write it down. This was controlled. Also, my bmr (basal metabolic rate, the calories that sustain you through your day when given an activity factor) is 2500. So still a win. 

Today, I cooked a huge mess of roasted veggies. Something to get full on. I also made egg muffins. With those I can trim off about 40 calories from breakfast.  I also made fluff. It is a concoction of artificially flavored sugar free jello, pudding, cool whip, pineapple and oranges.  At about 150 calories for a cup, it hits my sweet tooth a d gives me a serving of fruit.  It seems like everyone is blogging about chicken salad.  I currently have chicken breasts in the crockpot.  I'm thinking chicken plus plain Greek yogurt and then some sliced grapes and apples.  I added apples for a wordorf salad crunch instead of my usual pecans. I know , I know. I could have used celery.  In my opinion, celery is natures dental floss and I hate the stuff unless its cooked within an inch of its life in a soup.  

I just got done doing Zumba on the Wii. I bought nike's studio wraps for it.  Besides giving me a toe wedgie that really helped my feet slide and protected the ball of my foot.  I hate wearing tennis shoes when I work out at home.  One of he many reasons why I work out at home.  

Here's the post work out glow!

Picnic people

So I have a group of friends who are affectionately know as "choir practice". Why? Because grown adults don't get together for no reason.  And it's hard to explain.  Choir practice is something my small Kentucky town gets.  

Today was our chicken picnic.  Omg that chicken was good.  We also throw down and bring the sides.  Lava lamp cooked a big thing of baked beans.  Plenty of brown sugar.  I had my leg and thigh of chicken and sides.   It was green beans and watermelon and tomatoes.  676 calories in all.  Holy mother. That coupled with a 190 calorie protien bar translates to I'm going over calories today.  The problem I have with dieting is that I am freaking starving.  An hour after lunch and I could eat a toddler.  In barbecue sauce.  I hope to God I get the lap band.  Hopefully, I won't have to live like this forever.  The reason I want the lap band, need the lap band, is that I can't deal with this.  I can do it for the short term, but long term, I will break.  I will need to be full.  This is just torturous.  

Enough about the war between my belly and my head.

(I'm okay. My hunger will not kill me.  Deep breathes)

Here are some pictures. 

Finally Friday

So far this week has been good food wise.  Fish and veggies and yogurt. The cafeteria where I work posts nutritional facts beside the food. This is Awesome with a capital A because it allows me to eat things I could never guess at.  Today I had a flatbread with feta and spinach that was 250 calories.  The grilled veggies here are Ah-Mazing.  Seriously, I wish I could take home a vat of them for the weekend.  Next Wednesday I have my follow up appointment. I seriously need to get my self together in regards to working out. I'm too pooped to do it after work and I can't up before work.  I should be sweating it up this weekend though 

I also have a cook out this weekend.  That will be a challenge. There will be grilled chicken which is good.  As long as I can stay away from the sides and desert table, I should be alright. 

I can't wait to be off. I'm knackered.  This weekend there will be cooking and cleaning and shopping and sweating. Woohoo!

Btw I'm in boss's office blogging.  

Isn't this doll creepy? It's an educational dummy for young kids and she keeps staring at me...

Ten things Thursday

1.  I really need to get my self together when it comes to working out. I can not get my bones up early enough to work out.  I'm going to try to do it when I get home.  12 hour shifts makes that incredibly difficult.  Bah. I wish I could quit my job and be professionally fabulous. 

2. Eating has been much better today and yesterday. I'm keeping it under 1200 calories.  Go me. 

3.  I wish I could afford a personal trainer to come to my house and yell at me in a Swedish accent

4. My lovely co worker Gus

5.  Gus or G love with special sauce as I call her, is the only one at work who knows I'm going for lap band

6. If I get down to my goal weight, I will totally have plastic surgery again.  Lord knows I will use any means necessary to keep my boobs at 22.  

7.  I don't have cable or any tv channels at home. I prefer to borrow movies and tv seasons from the library.  

8.  My puppies love me. This is my main man. Shhh don't tell lava lamp

9.  I sleep with two of my dogs.  Izzy (above) sleeps at my feet.  Shakes (below ) sleeps by my butt

10) i am so ready to go home.  Only 4 more hours left :-)

I'm not crazy, trust me.

Week 3

Starting weight: 278

Goal weight: 115

Last week's weight: 261.7

Today's weight: 267.2

Pounds lost: +5.5

Total pounds lost: 10.8

So clearly I need to get back on my stuff. Write down what I eat.   Try and excercise.    And do better.  All in all, the experience was eye opening in that I need to work on my behavior when I leave routine.   

Yesterday, I went and had my psych eval.  It was interesting.  I know they want to make sure I'm not depressed or have anxiety so I'll be more compliant with the program.  I'm a huge fan of counseling and am a ten year vet myself.   It was wierd going into a psychologist and nothing is wrong and I'm happy. After the appointment, he gave a mmpi and another test to complete.  If you don't feel crazy before, you will after 600 true/ false questions.  

Do you like automotive magazines?

If you were a journalist would you like to report on the theater?

Are people controlling your thoughts?

Do you like to watch other people suffer?

Oh my, that escalated quickly. 

I should have the official results in a few weeks

And as an update, my foot is fine. Woohoo. It came back together quite well. 

Back again

I had a wonderful time on vacation.  It was lovely to see new sights. The question is, why do I eat like its my job?  I understand being a little more lax. Having to guesstimate a little more.  The amount of candy and cookies I ate was ridiculous.  Oh well. 

We were in the Smokey mountains. Which had amazing hiking.  I was too out of shape to hike up the mountain.  Next year I'm going back and conquering observation tower. Mark my words.  

I'm a bad person.

A major part of my job is dealing with body fluids.  There are more people in this town then I care to admit who have had my hands inside them. I have come home with pieces of people on me.  

So when lava lamp cut his finger, I was of no help. It was barely more than a paper cut and he freaked out.  This is a man who passes when he sees needles and has passed out, laying down.  

That being said when he was on the ground, I didn't get a cool wash cloth or find the first aid kit. I took a picture. 

Enjoy!!!

Ten things Thursday-- pre trip edition

1) I hopped on the scale this morning and it said 260.1

2) that weight loss is due to shark week (my period) starting yesterday.  But it is quite motivating. 

3) it makes me not want to say eff it while I'm gone this weekend

4) tomorrow, lava lamp and I are going to gatlinburg,  Tennessee to be with his mother, her 5th husband, his gay step brother, and his black lover. Doesn't that sound like a premise for a reality tv show?  The script writes its self.  

5) honestly I am super excited to be getting away for a few day and not having to worry about work for awhile.  Lava lamps family is super awesome and we always have a good time with them. 

7) I'm scared about the eating though. Part of me wants to say we'll start next week trying to lose weight and part of me wants to say nothing  but veggies all weekend.  

8) we packed some high protein, low calorie protein bars.  Hopefully, if I can stick to those and one meal a day, I'll be fine.  (Ever notice how many protein bars aren't that high in protein?)

9). It has been awesome that my sugar cravings (re:shark week) have been indulged due to me leaving enough calories for it.  The past 2 nights I've had small hot fudge sundaes with marshmallow cream from Dairy Queen.  Hit the spot for 380 calories. Kept total calories under 1200.

10) I need a house keeper.  Sometimes I blog to avoid chores :-)

11) Bonus. This is lava lamp and I visiting family on Monday

WIW

Week 2

Starting weight: 278

Goal weight: 115

Last week's weight: 264.6

Today's weight: 261.7

Pounds lost: -2.9

Total pounds lost: 16.3

Today I went to my gyn to have biopsies taken.  I had an abnormal Pap smear, again.  This has been an ongoing problem since 2009. Abnormal pap, then comes biopsies, then comes cryo.  

Sigh

What's different about this year is the pain.  I have been having lower abdominal pain for a while which has turned in to a twisting  no fun at all pain in the last few weeks.  The doc wants to do  ultrasound with biopsies later this month.  I know it sounds like a good time. 

And I have no idea why that paragraph decided to be bigger

Shrug

After the birthday binge, I am very excited about the weight loss. And God know excercise has been hit or miss.  Hell, even if I had done everything perfectly, I'd be excited about a 2.9 loss. It looks like I am ahead of schedule. Woohoo.  

Maybe the universe wants me to be skinny....

Kinda crazy.  

And that's how people end up in freezers

Yesterday I got stuck in surgery.  

I look at that sentence and realize how alarming that can be to people who don't work in that field.  No I was not a patient who crashed.  No it wasn't a pb episode I hear the lovely lap banders talk about. I was physically stuck in surgery.  11 hours into my shift I find out they added a case to the or schedule that I needed to be present for.  Then I find out they added another. I looked at the surgeon ( who happens to be a very kind and generous man who always tries to do the right think and thusly makes more work for all of us) and told him that he legally only had me till 11:30. Labor laws and all.  He states "what do I do if I want you illegally?" 

"Send a lot of emails buddy"

So that's how I ended up working a 16 and half hour shift yesterday.  

I come home to lava lamp having ate the last two of my egg muffins.  Perfect little morsels that I eat for breakfast, take 2 hours to cook, and that we don't have the ingredients for in the house.  

What the %#€}!!!!

Of all the things he could have ate, it had to be my breakfast for the next day didn't?

Do you have this problem?  How do the loved ones in your house thwart your progress?  How do you deal with it?  Should I kill him?

So now I have been up for 4 hours. I'm dizzy and nauseous because I haven't eaten and nothing sounds good. Nothing at all. 

Any suggestions on how to regroup when things go wrong?